Serendipityness

ellec21 @ 2006-11-02T13:18:00

2006-11-02T18:18:56Z

BORED!!! Stupid lab. It's so quiet here it makes me sleepy and people are being slackers and not showing up which means I get to sit here and do nothing. I have no reading for class, already did 2 crosswords! Grr...I just want to go pay rent, go to the bank, and nap so I can have fun later. On the positive side I am much less spinny than I was a week or so ago. I also think it's funny how some people have stolen my word spinny to describe their life. I don't really have a definition for spinny but it's kinda when your life is out of control but it's just so out of control you stop thinking about how out of control it is. So you feel um...spinny. Where it gets confusing is that sometimes spinny can be a good thing...it all depends on the situation. I was kinda bad but kinda good spinny. Now I'm not so spinny now which is lovely...spinny isn't the most stable emotion. Anyway, I missed class today. Not on purpose, but because I forgot when I have class and signed up for lab during my class time. It works out nicely though because I'm tired of going to class and now I have more time for my errands and napping. Another random thing: it's soooooo pretty outside. It's sunny (but I think it's going to rain later) and the leaves are all changing colors!! Fall is my favorite. Winter is nice too but that's mainly because of all the Christmas cheer and no school. I suppose that's all for now...

ellec21 @ 2006-10-23T04:36:00

2006-10-23T04:42:18Z

this is one of those days where everything just gets spinnier and spinnier...
i think its good spinny but i'm not sure. i'm not sure i even know what spinny means.

ellec21 @ 2006-10-16T06:52:00

2006-10-16T07:14:26Z

I was making a cd mix for a friend of mine who is in need of some hugs and it made me think...

how do you trust someone once they betray you
how do you stop loving someone
should you ever stop loving someone
and if so, how do you?
should you follow your heart
even if it means getting ignored and hurt again
or should you just let it go...
does fighting mean things have to end
isn't love enough...
unless there never was love

"There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you "

"You need me less than I need you
Take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
Traffic is perfectly still

*playing cards really late night is great fun...and did you know there is such a thing as an orangekwat (orange + kumkwat)??

how could you

2006-09-07T04:35:31Z

Hurt...how does someone move past hurt? Forgiveness helps but forgetting is just impossible. There is no way to forget someone who touched you heart and you life. Hmm...its all so confusing. Love in general is confusing. I think it's because love takes so many forms...love is so many emotions at the same time. It can be fantastically happy and devestantingly hurtful at exactly the same time. I think that's completely unfair.

Doubt...can destroy things. We doubt so much. We doubt how people feel about us, doubt our abilities, doubt the future. I do this too often. I have seen how it can ruin relationships. Yes, other things besides doubt runied it too but doubt allowed me to put up a barrier he couldn't fix or even justify. I suppose people unnecessairly doubt because of lack of self-confidence and past hurts.

it's sad when thing come to and end. it's sad when an amazing friendship is lost for confusing and complicated and silly fights. in the end i try to make the memories count. those memories can never be destroyed. and it's always the little memories that mean the most....the special memories between two people.

it's hard to let go...

more good songs...

2006-08-17T04:47:01Z

Plumb- Nice, Naive, and Beautiful

She's so nice, naive, and beautiful

She's only known heartache and pain
She's never known pain like this
She stands alone defending her name
Know that she's trying
to be who she is
Well is it so wrong
to be who we are
when all that she's done is fail?

Cause she's so nice, naive, and beautiful
Why does she keep taking advantage?
Why does she live in a world so cold?
She takes advantage of the nice, naive, and the beautiful

Cold is the throne of her hardened heart
No one has seen the softest part
Day after night she holds an ache
but won't budge to show
the secret layers
Well is it so wrong to hang onto hers?
Maybe she could set it free

Cause she's so nice, naive, and beautiful
Why did she get taken for granted?
Why does she live in a world so cold?
He took advantage of the nice, naive, and the beautiful

If you've been there, you know
If you're still there, hang on
We're all dealt our lumps of coal
What you do with it can turn beautiful

Well there's life outside of your madness
and there's a face behind every scar
But there's a love overflowing with gladness
Get out of that place that's restraining your love
I said get out of that place that's restraining you love

She's so nice, naive, and beautiful
She's so nice, naive, and beautiful

The Fray- all at once

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

love these lyrics...

2006-07-21T04:05:37Z

When the calls and conversations
Accidents and accusations
Messages and misperceptions
Paralyze my mind
Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving
Burnin' fumes of gasoline and
And everyone is running and I
Come to find a refuge in the

Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

Monkeys on the barricades
Are warning us to back away
They form commissions trying to find
The next one they can crucify
And anger plays on every station
Answers only make more questions
I need something to believe in
Breathe in sanctuary in the

Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

Children lose their youth too soon
Watching war made us immune
And I've got all the world to lose
But I just want to hold on to the

Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

Dixie Chicks "Easy Silence"

Bang!!

2006-07-06T04:06:56Z

woo hoo. fireworks make me happy!!
im bored...i need a vacation. to anywhere really. but d.c would be nice. i would frollick with lisa. or florida. that would be very good too. hmm...if only i had a plane, or less restrictive parents...then i could go see everyone anytime i wanted to.

a recent conversation between me and leelee...

Lisa: you are a not good gmail chatter

stupid karma

me: ohh oops

i am but this doesnt blink when i get a message

Lisa: it's like a growing up version of aim

you have to gain responsibility

summertime adventures

2006-07-03T14:53:35Z

In a balloon with Reshmi...we floated way high into the air in atlanta :)

Pretty grass in Florida...little day trip with the family

ellec21 @ 2006-06-30T02:17:00

2006-06-30T06:19:33Z

I'm quite content. That's all for now...

answers create more questions

2006-06-27T04:39:21Z

Right now as my cute kitty cat is curled up next to me (she doesn't usually do thIs, guess she really missed me while I was in athens) I am up wondering why we form the relationships we do. Some of these are obvioulsy harmful but we still can't resist. I wonder why people (myself included) do this. It's odd really...it makes perfect sense that we wouldn't want someone in our life who treats us with little respect or affection however sometimes we let people like this into our world. SinceI tend to be hopelessly optimistic, I am trying to have faith that this will work out. But, 2hatever happens, my cat loves me and that is pretty fantastic!!!! Usually after I leave her she is mean and snobby to me for a few days...but not this time, she is all cuddly and sweet! Oh...driving home in a thunderstorm = no fun...very scary too.

ellec21 @ 2006-06-26T01:48:00

2006-06-26T05:56:47Z

I finally felt like I had some closure. Then out of nowhere things change. I don't think this. I don't like doing how we play this little game of psuedo-friendship over and over. It's not good for me...it's not fair. Friends should be consistant people in life, not just reappearing every few years or months. We will see where this goes but it is hard to forget the past quickly. I'm not sure if I would even want to forgive the past if given a real chance.

Birthday Time!

2006-06-10T03:48:52Z

I turned 22 today...of course I don't feel any different because change or growing up doesn't happen once a year. Change occurs gradually it's associated with events and experiences in someone's life instead of an arbitrary day. However, I have grown and changed this year...hopefully for the best. I would say that I have become more me. It seems funny to become more "me" since I have obviously always been me but I have become the me I desire to be more so.

Family Fun

2006-06-05T15:53:57Z

I went to dinner with my family yesterday. This is what we discussed:

1. vegans vs. vegetarians, difference in diet, where they buy their food, etc...
2. difference between tiramisu (an Italian dessert consisting of layers of sponge cake soaked with coffee and brandy or liqueur layered with mascarpone cheese and topped with grated chocolate) and baklava (popular in Greece and Turkey, this sweet dessert consists of many layers of butter-drenched phyllo pastry, spices and chopped nuts. A spiced honey-lemon syrup is poured over the warm pastry after it`s baked and allowed to soak into the layers. Before serving, the dessert is cut into triangles and sometimes sprinkled with coarsely ground nuts)
3. argued when Nintendo debuted...1985
4. suduko...how to play, origin

Conclusion: my family is odd but interesting

Now for a cute but slightly disturbing website...

http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

We Live in a Mysterious World

2006-05-27T03:52:45Z

a few things i find mysterious...

*the location of atlantis
*spontaneous human combustion
*the bermuda triangle
*why we drive on parkways and park on driveways
*how many licks it really takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop
*why clothing companies think everyone is 6 ft. tall
*purpose of stonehenge
*why 24/7/365 days a year business's have lock on their doors
*how coffee shops get iced coffee so cold so quick
*the universe in general
*why people watch and believe every word Dr. Phil says
*string theory...the idea that there are many more dimensions
*secret societies such as the skull, the masons, etc...

ellec21 @ 2006-05-25T22:48:00

2006-05-26T03:17:57Z

I got bored, took some random quizzes online and found out....

1.) I am Peter Pan
2.) I am Mario
3.) I am a Golden Retriever puppy

I must say I disagree with the resuts...for one I am a girl so being Peter Pan or Mario is impossible. Two...I am human so being a puppy is also impossible.

ellec21 @ 2006-05-20T03:51:00

2006-05-20T07:55:29Z

There is nothing like a drive while the sun is setting
against miles and miles of beautiful trees and
solidarity to remind you of the power and majesty of God.
Sometimes you find
exactly what you need
in the places you least expect.

Silence is Deafening

2006-05-16T05:21:15Z

Words can hurt but sometimes silence can be even more painful. I suppose this is because words can lead to some sort of understanding. Silence leads to this akward unknowing. I tend to give people second-chances, I want to fix the akwardness. Even when I could get hurt, I fully believe in second-changes because people make mistakes, words can be misconstrued, and situations are intrepreted wrong. I do this because I have a desire to understand people and their reasoning behind their actions, thoughts, and words. Sometimes this falls through and I don't get the clarity I want so badly to have- or maybe the silence is clarity. In the end, I must treasure the memories instead of dwelling on the knowledge that there will not be any more and understand that sometimes it is best to accept the silence. People go in and out of lives, these people alter us, alter our lives forever. The most we can do is be thankful we had the chance to make memories, remember the good times, remember the bad times and learn from both. Finally I feel like I can accept this...I must say it is a good feeling.

freedom!!

2006-05-08T20:00:49Z

Yay!!! finals are OVER! School is out for the summer...now I just gotta find a job. I can't wait to go home and see the family/friends/pets :)

ellec21 @ 2006-05-07T23:06:00

2006-05-08T03:15:23Z

There are people in your life that captivate you. I don't like being captivated.

ellec21 @ 2006-05-04T11:25:00

2006-05-04T15:48:08Z

Why I find school annoying:
Kohlberg's Theory of Moral Developement
tenured professors
finals...and the grades associated with them
the psych. buliding not having a wireless internet connection
getting up early

this is super funny (just for you leelee):

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

ellec21 @ 2006-05-02T00:55:00

2006-05-02T05:12:03Z

I hate it when there are those times in your life when you are faced with a decision. No matter what you decide things probably won't turn out exactly how you want them to. On one side, if you don't do anything you could be missing out on something; put how many changes can you give someone. On the other hand, if you do something you could get hurt. Of course, if you've already been hurt how much do you have to lose? Clearly, this issue needs to be pondered more...

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

ellec21 @ 2006-04-24T22:26:00

2006-04-25T02:27:53Z

This makes me smile...

ellec21 @ 2006-04-23T23:07:00

2006-04-24T03:46:08Z

So lately I've been doing some thinking about friendships. I have realized that I am so blessed to have good friends in my life but deeply saddened to realize that some people I though were good friends may not be. There are those people in everyone's life that we care about for some strange reason even though they continue to dissapoint us. I'm not sure why I allow myself to contiune these relationships, constantly try to repair them, and hope that things will change.

On a completely unrelated note I have a terrible inablity to get motivated. This is not good because finals are soon apporaching and I probably should be studying/finishing a paper, etc. Instead, I am thinking about things I cannot change and wasting time online taking silly quizzes.

You Are an Appletini

Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy.
But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

i do like apple-tinis

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Very popular, one of you is not enough.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Your 1920's Name is:

Belle Georgette

What's Your 1920's Name?

oooh...very cool name

ellec21 @ 2006-04-17T01:14:00

2006-04-17T05:17:20Z

Things that make me frown...

constantly getting credit card applications I don't want in the mail
people who ignore you for no good reason
pollen and everything allergy related
prrking tickets
bad internet connections
people who talk insanely loud on their cell phone while on the bus
scary weather (high winds, loud thunder)
never being able to find a parking spot

Things that make me smile...

random trips to Kroger
late night trips to Little Italy
gerber daisies
shooting stars
good books, good music, good quotes
doing really good on crosswords
going with people when they get tattoos
watching the sunrise
camping (bonfires, s’mores, hikes)
football games
taking funny pictures
hugs (and not those silly half-hugs)